Joel and I did some not-so-major planning prior to our trip to Portland. We were both very much consumed with work and attended a wedding the night before our flight. With four hours left to pack and catch a plane at JFK, I wasn’t sure how we’d make the most of our vacation without a plan.
Now three weeks have passed since I’ve been back home, and I still can’t stop thinking about that vacation—I don’t even think my trip to the Dominican Republic had this much of an impact on me. Everything about Portland was perfect: the food, the greenery, the company, the drive, the weather, the water contamination that pushed us to explore the city, the food … you get the idea. I couldn’t post all the pics that were taken during the trip, but here’s a few:
For the first time in a long time I felt nothing but pure happiness: it was just Joel and me, our thoughts, our words, and our life with each other, away from everyone and everything we were familiar with, yet I felt so safe.
I hoped for Oregon to bring clarity to my life, but I really think I’m even more confused and fearful now. God, I feel so scared of life. I come back home to my bedroom and think about how scary this is to have so much trust and love for someone. How do I know I won’t get hurt again? I’m fucking scared.