Baby, let your hair down…
Let me run my fingers through it.
We could be ourselves now.
Go ahead, be foolish.
No one’s on the clock now–lying in this simple moment.
You don’t gotta worry now,
just let your hair down.
When I turned 29 a little over a week ago, I compiled a list of all the things that took me a while to realize, and now let me share it with you:
1. You can’t take back time, so make every second count.
I feel the power of time more than ever now and have reevaluated where I allocate my time. As Benjamin Franklin says, “Lost time is never found again.”
2. Have patience for your parents and respect them wholeheartedly.
As we get older, our parents become increasingly dependent on us–half the time you don’t know it because they try not to get in your way. Every once in a while, check in and ask them how you can help. Better yet, hang out with them a couple of times out of the week and stop ditching them for your friends or significant other.
Respect your parents by picking up their phone calls and by being conscious about the language and tone you use when you speak to them. They deserve your utmost respect. Whether it was intentional or not, our parents brought us into world excited, yet scared as fuck. No matter how [un]satisfied you are with your upbringing, believe this: your parents did the best job they knew how to do.
3. Always have a goal and work quietly towards it.
Your list of goals should be an ongoing thing between you and yourself; accomplish one, create a new one. What are you trying to prove to others by letting the world know what your goals are? Marie de France says it best, “The fool shouts loudly, thinking to impress the world.”
4. Save 17% of every dollar you earn and start now.
Realistically, we all spend money on shit we don’t need and there’s nothing that can stop us from doing so. I realized that when I save 17% of my earnings (and yes that means $0.03 for every dollar), the things that I need never need that 17% that I pushed aside. It’s such a small amount that shouldn’t affect your ‘needs’ that all adds up in the end.
5. Take advantage of your health insurance and review the claim details.
Whether you’re the primary holder of your health insurance or you’re covered through your parents’ employers, keep in mind that the insurance company is sucking money out of your pockets like crazy.
Make time for that teeth cleaning, that physical, and go to the doctor for every bit of unusual happenings to ensure you’re at your best health.
It doesn’t end here. After every doctor visit, review your claim details and make sure that your health providers’ claims are valid. Something I experienced myself recently: doctors lie for money.
6. Get married when you know you’re with the one to enjoy the benefits of marriage sooner than later.
At 29, unmarried, I just realized that there’s so much to gain from marriage. For one, health insurance. Every month, $300 of my hard-earned money goes towards health insurance. If I added a spouse to the plan, it would have been $350 per month.
Though this isn’t the case, let’s say my boyfriend worked for the same company and paid for his own $300 a month insurance. That’s a total of $600 a month for us both (unmarried), when it could be $350 (married)!
…we could be using the $3,000 a year towards something else.
7. Just as family is important, friends are too.
You’ll hear it coming from everyone and anyone, “There’s no such things as friends,” in conjunction with “Family is all you need.” I have strong opinions about these sayings: (1) There are such things as friends, so stop preaching this just because you don’t have any. (2) Family is all you need, but it doesn’t imply that your friends are chopped liver.
8. All public-enabled social media accounts have motives.
If someone’s social media account is public, there’s a motive. Maybe s/he’s promoting her/his business. Maybe s/he’s trying to grab the attention from someone that is not in her/his social circle. Why else?
My advice? Keep your shit private. Share things you want to share with the people you want to share it with. Decline followers where you find it necessary.
9. Squats are essential.
My ass at 24 years old looked so much better than it does at 29. Why? Because squats were a part of my everyday routine back then. *Note to self: do squats.
10. Cooking your own food saves lots of money.
This one’s probably my favorite realization–I can cook! It looks and tastes delicious and it saves me a lot of moneyI My cooking skills/practice came late in the game.. I started to learn over the summer when I was 28. From learning how to make my own salad dressings and sauces to cooking flavorful meals, I’m especially proud to know I can cook (and I love watching my boyfriend devour my food).
11. Praying eases the soul.
As a Muslim, I am to pray five times a day. Doing this did not appeal to me growing up because back then it seemed too much of a task. Now that I’m older, I pray to Allah every chance I get (primarily to gain clarity and remember Him), and I realized that when I pray, my soul is at ease. Alhamdullilah.
Joel and I did some not-so-major planning prior to our trip to Portland. We were both very much consumed with work and attended a wedding the night before our flight. With four hours left to pack and catch a plane at JFK, I wasn’t sure how we’d make the most of our vacation without a plan.
Now three weeks have passed since I’ve been back home, and I still can’t stop thinking about that vacation—I don’t even think my trip to the Dominican Republic had this much of an impact on me. Everything about Portland was perfect: the food, the greenery, the company, the drive, the weather, the water contamination that pushed us to explore the city, the food … you get the idea. I couldn’t post all the pics that were taken during the trip, but here’s a few:
For the first time in a long time I felt nothing but pure happiness: it was just Joel and me, our thoughts, our words, and our life with each other, away from everyone and everything we were familiar with, yet I felt so safe.
I hoped for Oregon to bring clarity to my life, but I really think I’m even more confused and fearful now. God, I feel so scared of life. I come back home to my bedroom and think about how scary this is to have so much trust and love for someone. How do I know I won’t get hurt again? I’m fucking scared.